i posted something.

well well well... last friday i was sitting in the temple after paying my respect to my late grandparents and wrote an entry on my iPhone and posted it up but it didn't appear in the blog entries. it is missing somehow... i don't know how but it is not here le... i don't think i will re type everything i have in mind on friday but will just sum it up...

recently there is a advertisement on filial piety on tv which is stirring up some emotions in me... during the two down times in my family... first was my grandpa in 2002 suffering from cancer and left us after months... the visiting in hospital after school, the nightmares, seeing my parents taking care of him really set an example for me to take care of them when they are old. its not easy for anyone of us here to see someone dear passed on.

then came 2007, my grandma left me due to cancer also... cervical cancer, the first occurrence was shortly after my grandpa death. then it came back in 2006... and she didn't want to go thru' the same old chemo and radiotherapy again and we left her live her destiny.

two person who are so dear to me left me. i grew up with them since young till primary school. i was taken care by them... protecting me from the cane of my dad. carrying me to the toilet at the middle of the night when i was really young. patting me to sleep on my thigh. buying me birthday cake every year. cooking my favourite dishes when i visit them every weekend when i was a grown up. =)

smiles* is all i can do now. thinking back about the good times we had together. how i wish i could be more expressive of my feeling. how i wish i could hug them like when i was young. which i didn't when i was much older.

remembering hearing things like... they will end their suffering and go to a wonderful place where there is suffering? how i wish that place exists and i will reunite with them when i leave this world. i really wish to see you again. visit me in my dream like you always do... =)